Fifty Shades of Grey is a horrible movie

I’m talking about the movie, though all three books are terrible.

1) Anastasia is not a naive, innocent virgin. The portrayal in the movie shows a mentally handicapped girl who can’t ask or even conduct a basic interview. It shows a girl who doesn’t act like any college or college-level student but more like one who has never even studied pass junior/primary school.

2) Anastasia has no laptop or computer and lives in an apartment that looks more like a place for a mid-level worker. not a student apartment. WHAT THE HELL?!!!! How can a college student from not even a run-down school not own a computer device?!

3) Ana does not fall in love. She falls for the physical looks of Christian Grey. She has nothing in common with him, vice versa (pre fake Bondage part). They have not hobbies (until one says he is a dominant WTH?!!!!), they don’t play sports, go to movies they like, have common food likes or dislikes nothing!!! Yet immediately “hey, this is my bondage room (it clearly looks like a medieval torture chamber, see below), this is my contract, you edit it, and let’s start!!!” I don’t want to go into the “what is really BDSM” talk here but clearly the is no relationship moves at all! It shows a handicapped or stupid girl willing to be tortured by some freak. Further example: Ana, supposedly drunk, allows Grey to strip her clothes off and follows the “eat me” “drink me” signs he puts up. OH MY FREAKING GOSH. That is molest, violation of personal privacy and what not. He could have put poison in those items. Instead, she blindly accepts him taking off her clothes and giving her unknown items to take.

4) C Grey is not a dominant or lover or man liking a girl. So he is not gay, so what? Through the movie, he is more like a stalker and a would-be-serial-killer. Immediately after the fake or botched interview, he goes to (miraculously) thw same hardware store Ana works in, and she is captivated by him. His move/moves is clearly that of a animal hunting a prey and willing to capture her for some fake delight. The so-called tying, blindfoling, spanking, and finally whipping is not even close to a tie-up sex game or BDSM. It is more like torturing a girl. See point 3 about the “taking off clothes and signs”.

5) Back to 3, without any hint of romance, immediately the two move to kissing, then intercourse, then the torturing, not BDSM. And dumb, handicapped Ana accepts it and thinks oh, non-disclosure agreement, don’t need to tell others what is happening. It is quiet evident she is suffering but doesn’t want to say so. People argue he told her safe words. Uh, that a BDSM does not make. Clearly the rudimentary tying (like tying occurs in front in sex games or BDSM) and the blindfolding is not of a loving D-S move. It is torture. The moves represent torture, the room is torture. But the person tortured doesn’t want to say she is being tortured.

6) Again, with the absence of love and romance, Ana shows a mental handicapped by not protesting against his rules of not letting her touch him and not sleeping with her (ok, some loving couples do sleep separately). Instead of fighting or arguing back, she accepts it outwardly. But it is clear inward she is a victim. Same stuff with the “you rolled your eyes or disagreed with my gift (the car), I will spank you”. That is not sexual, D-S play. That is torture and allowance of abuse. It’s not a representation of consensual sex or sex games, contract no contract. It’s a person inwardly suffering and outward allowing suffering.

7) Amazingly, her friends and family are nothing and not-suspecting. Well, ok, you say BDSM or sex games or sex life is private. But amazing her house/flat/apartment mate doesn’t suspect or deeply enquire about anything. There’s no girly talk between them, no girly stuff (the make up scene or bar drinking DOES NOT count). Her mother doesn’t attend her graduation for some weak reason but Ana accepts (again sign of her handicap/disorder). When Ana meets her mother and her mother meets Grey, there’s no talk as there would be with boyfriend-meeting-prospective-mother-in-law. Vice versa with Ana meeting the Grey family. All there is is “hey, remember NDA and contract, I can torture you” throughout. That’s not a literary or drama method. That is simple writing a non-plot show.

8) Ok, something on the tying and nudity. With the strong absence of love or liking, and the claim “I’m virign” by Ana, it is ludicrous that she suddenly accepts to be nude and get tied, get blindfolded, get flogged/spanked and finally whipped by him. Rewind to the part of him taking off her clothes in her drunk state. She accepts that move. She immediate allows full frontal nudity. And claims she’s a virign?!!! Like, if you even had sex before and never had a proper, I mean proper relationship before, why would you accept to be nude?!! And then you get tortured by ropes and aggressive hitting. Conversely, you say no gagging or gags? How can whipping be acceptable to your virginal state, and then no accepting gags, which is more often than not, part of sex games?!

9) I already mentioned the other characters amazingly don’t ask about their relationship or lack of or life. But moving back, there is no story at all!!! (No plot as said). If there is no relationship evidently formed, no evidence of college life or roomate talk, no parental engagement, nothing what is the premise then? The fake bondage aka the torturing of a mentally challenged girl by a stalker?! Might as well watch a proper movie based on torture then. Romance?! Definitely not. So why open it on Valentines Day and claim it is about romance? There’s no love, no liking, no care at all. Which bring me to…

10) The last part, the whipping and the so-called breaking up scene. Part-based movies or books often end to wet the appetites of viewers/readers so they will yearn for the next part. What we get in this finally part is “Torture me (not punish me), since I can’t touch or sleep next to you”. He whips her with a belt in a manner that would make Saudi Arabian (or countries that practice whipping/caning) officials proud. D-S punishment is suppose to give excitement and enjoyment with some pain. What is depicted is aggressive suffering instead. In normal circumstanes, one would run off or even lodge a report. And one would fight back. But no, we get a “I hate you moment” and then slowly later, a move out of the place. How on earth is that A) Representative of a sex punishment B) Enticement of the audience to come back to watch?!!!!

Clearly the movie (well all three books) is not about love, about sex play, about plausible characters. But somehow, stupidity (like Ana) reigns supreme to get people to watch it and like it.




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